Growing up I knew my Dad had had cancer, but was much to young to remember any of it. All I knew was that if he ever got it again I most definitly would lose it. Turns out, it is just as awful as one would imagine, the fear & uncertainty are here, anger & disbelief, but it's not totally overwhelming. Yes, of course, I know the battle is just beginning.
What I'm getting at is we still go through the days pretty much like we did before. The same lame, but get-me-every-time jokes, annoyances and beloved routines. I find myself forgetting (for just a second) that the evil cancer is doing it's best to take over.
Monday was a big day. Official diagnosis: Non-Hodgkin's Diffused Large B-Cell Lymphoma, Stage 3, Type A. Did you get all that? I could explain what that all means, but it'd take forever. Google it. Anyways, back to Monday, the bad news: We found out the cancer has metastazied (remember that word - "oh shit! the cancer has spread"). It is now in a handful of other lymphs throughout his body. And it's real aggressive. So dumb. This means radation isn't an option. Good news: It's not in his bones or any organs yet. His heart is incredibly strong, and there is no sign or trace left in his bone marrow from the previous chemo he had 24 years ago. Kick ass!
His first round of chemo started Monday as well. He finished that up Wednesday with a shot that boosts his immune system and gives him back some white blood cells, but will continue to take steriods until Sunday to help keep his body fighting. I get why people get hooked on the 'roids. It's an instant shot of ADD. A ton of energy, and not a lot of focus. All that energy is misleading, once he stops taking them the nasty side-effects from the chemo will set in. I think that is when it will really hit me.
But until that happens, I have done a pretty good job of taking this in stride (minus a few panic attacks early on), and realizing that all we can do is stay positive, pray and find comfort in the fact that he beat it before, and certainly can beat it again. And I must say - to all of you that have reached out and are praying for my dad and family - you are amazing! I can't put into words how grateful I am to have so many strong, beautiful, inspiring people in my life.
Ok, enough for now. More to come.
Cheers & Happy Holidays!
*Disclaimer: The title of this post is absolutely not intended to reference the chewing gum Stride - hate it. Definetly does not have long lasting flavor. Fail.
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